Me and Emotional Papi: A lovers quarrel

  • Me: -In the studio- *going in*
  • Waka Flocka: WOO GET EM
  • Me: BOW BOW BOW BOW BO-
  • Drake: *Busts thru the door* WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
  • Me: *presses the lil button* Aubrey, that was rude.
  • Waka: Yeah man that shit wasn't cool.
  • Drake: Can I speak to my wife alone please?
  • Me: *Rolls my eyes and steps out the booth* What's wrong now?
  • Drake: So you're working with him now? That's your man? Your new boo? You love him or somethin?
  • Me: Bye we just workin on a song stop being so jealous.mp3
  • Drake: Why can't you work on a song with me?
  • Me: I asked and you said no and now i'm making my own album. *shrugs*
  • Drake: Well, I changed my mind now so tell waka flocka flame he can go tf home to wherever it is he live.
  • Waka: *inside the booth*...is tht shade?
  • Me: DID I ACT LIKE THIS WHEN U BROUGHT RIHANNA ON STAGE AND CALLED HER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD?
  • Drake: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU THEN!
  • Me: BUT YOU KNEW OF ME!
  • Drake: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU EXISTED!
  • Me: I SENT YOU FAN MAIL!
  • Drake: I DIDNT READ IT!
  • Me: ...I hope you know that..you just hurt my feelings really really badly and I may never talk to you ever again.
  • Waka: smh that was cold.
  • Drake: I didn't mean it like that.
  • Me: I don't think it matters how you meant it.
  • Drake: ...
  • Waka: *Sampha & Drake in harmony voice* I guess that's jus the motion....

slayboybunny:

alright now i used to hate pitbull because it seemed like the right thing to do but you know what i never hear him doing fucked up shit. as far as i know he is really just out there living life ,enjoying himself, visiting walmarts, and spreading the cubano party into the hearts of everyone around the world, he is mr. world wide and hes having a blast and i respect and love that pitbull. pitbull if youre reading this thank you and im sorry   

(via thatdudeemu)

something needs to change

  • Me: *sits on the park bench next to Drake* Sup papi
  • Drake: Nothin much
  • Me: I can see that.
  • Drake: whats that supposed to mean?
  • Me: oh im just sayin thats its a lot of nothin with u lately
  • Drake: like?
  • Me: wheres views from the 6?
  • Drake: *starts sweatin* what?
  • Me: Your album papi. Where is it?
  • Drake: its uh..its in the works..
  • Me: I see. So.. you gotta release date or something gimme a little timeline?
  • Drake: You heard 0-100 right?
  • Me: Oh yeah I heard but I thought u just needed a rhyme or something because if u think im waiting till spring 2015 u got another thing comin playboy
  • Drake: u know what? I got somewhere to be *tries to stand up*
  • Me: *yanks him back down by the hem of his luxurious cashmere sweater* listen...dont.play.games.wit.me.
  • Me: Understand?
  • Drake: *nods*
  • Me: *lets go of his sweater* aight u can go.
  • Drake: *stands up*
  • Me: I like them timbs by the way
  • Drake: Huh?
  • Me: Collateral.
  • Drake: *sighs and kicks off his boots*
  • Me*picks them up* I'll be seein you champagne.
  • Drake: *under his breath* I cant stand this bitch
  • Me: What?
  • Drake: Nothin
  • Me: *trying on my new timbs* keep playin and imma come for that chain